Day 27

I get to share my really cool pics with the world here.I am so lucky and have seen so many many things and done so many more I would not have if I had stayed locked in my little life in Australia. I love the places I go and the people I see (mostly) and I really love my job and my life. It is good. Better than ever before.
I am writing that because it must seem like all I do is complain. Well the purpose of my blog is to let out that stuff as well but I do need some balance and so am going to celebrate my days a little more. I do have very small wins but they are sometimes overlooked in the heavy pain stuff and I miss out sharing them. Time to change that.

I think of my friends often and wonder. I just dont give myself enough time to write or to do many of the other things I want to. I have a few projects I need to complete and yet the smallest task uses up so many spoons LOL. Guess I'll have to wash them, dry them and reuse them. Or better yet find a manufacturer that makes ones that last longer LOL.

So the news for today. I slept late as my head was screaming when I tried to get up. I am now having coffee and that has helped a little. After a few relatively good days to be hit by a ton on bricks again sucks. Anyway after that I have to go out and teach a private class for my lovely pregnant Japanese student. She also has a 19 month old girl who is adorable. Like a huge walking doll. Sooo cute.
After that I rush to my corporate gig. Oh need to find a song for that if I can. If not then we will be talking through conversations and discussions. All good.I have plenty of material prepared and I have new stuff coming soon too.
At 6.30pm I have a job interview. It is to talk about terms of an offer that was made about 9 months ago now that has been changed and changed and rehashed so many times. I am wary of accepting it but we need the money right now and I guess if I need to I can find the energy to teach an extra 10-15 hours in a week. I am able. I just need to plan my time better. Something I have not been so good at recently and havent really had to do much in the last few years. When I had children at home it was all like clockwork.
Ah gosh, just looked at the clock.Time to shower and run out the door.I will write more later or tomorrow but for now I am happy and kind of ok.
Still seeking answers and I am listening to hear as well.
Love and Hugs to all
Tanya

Day 26

A flash of colour in the surrounds. A beautiful thing really and what I look for in my life.

Here is from yesterday. Again I was too tired to upload it or to write much after I got home.

I slept for more than 12 hours last night. I was exhausted for whatever reason. I woke feeling better and awake for a change and am now waiting for my student. She is late as usual but I will still get paid. If she doesnt show in half an hour I am going home. All good cause I get paid anyway.
What to do and how to do this? I am still searching for answers to my health. Do I just take more herbs and mushrooms and sleep when I need? Do I go back to Germany or Australia and risk giving up my life to rely on others who have let me down in the past? Still trying to work it out.
Love and Hugs to all

Tanya

Day 25

Little baby sea turtles from the conservation project managed by the Thai Navy.

I am here, almost. Put on half a patch last night as I was hurting. Spent most of the night awake or hallucinating. No real rest so I am shattered.
There has to be an answer and there has to be a way to do this. Now where can I find it?
I guess I just wait and save up and do the scan I need to have.
I rang and spoke to my mother yesterday. I finally realised that as important as my parents have been to me in this whole learning curve I dont need them anymore. I said "goodbye" and wont call her again. So many patterns that have popped up and I am seeing them finally.
So I am now asking? Is the headache a huge poke to wake me up? If so please hear me.....I am awake now.
Off to lie down. I feel like vomiting again.

Love and Hugs
Tanya

Day 24

I want to get in and sail away LOL

Day 21
I havent followed my plan well. In the past fasting or diet was easier. I think my worry right now is that I wil do this, miss out and die anyway and so think "what is the point?".
I guess the point is quality.
Sleeping all day or not being able to do much is not living and I really dont enjoy the hurting. There has to be a balance somewhere. I am still looking even as I look for answers.
Off to teach a few hours. Its getting harder to do but is so worth the effort.
Love and hugs

Tanya

Day 23
I missed yesterday altogether. I didnt even open my computer to read email or to check anything. My head is getting harder to cope with and I pretend a LOT that I am ok. I need to to be able to go to work and teach. Please dont misunderstand. I LOVE my job and my students are the best group of people. It is the horrid head and the body pain that wont let up I struggle with.
I mentioned the lump over my shunt valve site and the tennis ball size one under my left arm already. Well I have lumps in my groin now as well and small ones coming up along the lymphatic lines in my arms and legs. Cancer springs to mind but I havent had the tests done yet.

I was cross with my partner yesterday. He has a tooth that has been having problems for months and I have been reminding him when it has been quiet he needs to have it taken out. Yesterday it blew up like a balloon on the side of his face because of infection. So we made a deal today. I go and have tumour markers done and he will get the tooth out. I do want to know but I also dont. I want to get this scan done as well but I dont. I am scared but not of dying. More so of hurting more than I do already and it is horrid to think it all might be easily solved if I had a little bit more money. Got to work on this.
I did sell a bundle of old jewelrry stock on Tuesday and got a couple of orders as well. I know I will sell a lot more next week as the ladies asked me for more pieces so will make up some bits and go from there. I might as well use my stones and stock instead of sitting on it all.

Ok time to teach again lol. The girls are excited about class and I am so honoured to be able to work with them.

Happy Birthday to my sister as well.

Love and Hugs to all

Tanya

Day 24
Yes I am really here this morning. Just. I went to bed early and so didnt do much after I came home. I have my Thai homework waiting for me and have to go to class very soon. Why am I stil going? This has become a good question. Except for the fact that I dont want to waste my fees that I spent I really have no pressing reason for learning anymore. So I will go back to having class one time a week and see if that is doable. Right now twice is not.
One of my students brought me a herb concoction to help my head. Lovely lady. It is supposed to help with detox and support but takes about a week to show results. I will see as I go. Right now I am going to try anything. Reminds me of those movies where people end up paying so much money to tricksters for cures that dont work. Could be the lesson in this one as I had an instance yesterday of throwing good money away after bad. Keeping my eyes open and listening carefully.

Ok have to go.I'll go and attempt this even though I am not prepared nor am really ok. I am teaching a private class today as well and then have to meet a friend who wants some help to buy stuff. At least that may be business and may be money for me. I know right now I am accepting all offers of money as I make the effort to save for this scan.

Love and Hugs to all
Tanya

Day 20

A satellite dish is my way of beaming the questions I have into the heavens to ask for answers. Maybe the aliens out there will know better LOL


Some where along the way I lost a couple of days. I was sleeping.

My head was hurting so much so I took to bed. I did teach one class but dont remember it and so hope it was ok. I am sure I would have heard about it if it wasnt.
So why was the head so sore? I think it was what I ate. I had some wheat noodles which knocked me sideways and I had some tomatoes which didnt help either. I also had a little piece of chicken and a small piece of pork.
The rice I had with the fish seemed to be ok and had no serious effects that I noticed.

The problem I have now is it is a scary thing to eat because while I know a few bits that trigger the pain there are so many more unknowns that I will have to face as I go.

So what to do? Well I am not sure because I also have a lump the size of a tennis ball under my left arm in the lymph gland area. It is not sore and that is the scary part. If it hurt I could say it is an infection of some sort. No pain is not a good sign. I realized it was there when I developed a rash from it rubbing on my clothes.
I really do need to have this scan done as soon as possible so I can see what is happening. Well back to work to earn money to pay for it all.
I feel better today because of the sleep.I hope it lasts longer than a day or so and that I might be able to actually focus and maybe do some extra stuff to get funds in. There are only so many spoons in the day.

Off to shower and dress and out the door.

Love and Hugs
Tanya

Day 14,15 and 16

I wrote them even though I didnt up load them. Here they are as they were put together at the time.

Will write todays later.
Love and Hugs
Tanya


Day 14
Another day of teaching. Not many more now and I get a day at home. Yay!!!!!
I am wondering about all the obstacles though. Is the Universe testing me to see if I really am serious about it all and as a result things like bad traffic and having last minute changes to transport arrangements are going to stop soon. I love what I am doing. My students are learning confidence as well as English and the boss is so happy. As a result I am happy too. Now it is time for a 'win'.

I have decided I have to put some real food in my daily intake. The fruit has been great as are the veges but I am so so tired and know what I have been having is not enough. I think white fish and rice are on the menu for tonight's dinner. Both are easy to digest and low allergy foods so we will see what happens. If I was able to rest as needed I could just keep the kind of fast going but for now the pace is way too hectic.

So what are the results so far? Well the head feels the same if not worse but the body pain is much less and that helps as it means I cope better. It's less stressful and I can do more. I feel less tired in the mornings and wake more easily. Less fog and that helps a lot. I can start the day at least feeling a little fresher than I used to. Not dragging myself about.
My skin is good and I have lost some weight although that was not the objective. It is a nice side effect of it all as I was too fat. The nausea has settled a little as well.
For the down side.... My liver hurts as does the area under my stomach where my spleen would be and the swelling under my arm is growing. I am working as much as possible to save up for a PET scan. 65,000 baht for one whole body xray. It will be a definitive scan to show anything that is abnormal in size, shape and composition. I really want to do this to rule in or out as much as possible and to know what I am up against. One way or the other.

Ok class begins in 2 minutes. Will post again later.
Love and Hugs to all.

Tanya

Day 15
Passed by in a blur of pain. My head was so bad. I had had some noodles for dinner the night before and I think this set the head off. I did go and teach but didnt upload anything. In fact I didnt even look at a computer.


Day 16
The head is still bad and I am not coping well with the increased pain. Makes me kind of scared to eat anything now. I have cancelled my Thai class for tomorrow so will sleep and rest more then but today is a set of four hours of classes and then home to rest again. I am almost at the point of needing a pain patch but last night I was so itchy and the nausea is back as well with a vengance so I am a little worried about my liver function. Not a good idea to stress that organ even more. Will see what gives. If the rest helps enough and I put back in the mushrooms in a larger dose maybe this will work. I am out of answers, the only one I really have is 'dont eat' and then my head doesnt hurt as much. Ok back to the drawing board. Will have to meditate on it again.

Love and hugs

Tanya

Day 13

A little loveliness in the day.


Again I am out the door for classes and another long day on the horizon. Kind of sucks when all you seem to do is run and run and still cant cover the bills that need to be paid. There has to be a better way to do this. I may have answers but they come slowly in between all the other stuff and need foundations as well.
Food today so far has been a cup of black coffee and half a small pineapple,herbs and a little water. Not enough. When I run about I seem to drink less. Seems to be because I cant find a bathroom easily. Got to stop this.

Yesterday flashbacks began again. All those times that have such negative energies are popping into my head and the feelings that go with them are so horrid. It's hard enough at times to cope with current messes let alone ones that are from history and whilst the current ones mainly involve verbal stuff that I am more able to deal with, the memories of being physically hurt are much harder because they feel real even though they are not happening now. When does that ever go away? Or do I have to change th energy on it all so it stops hurting.
In many ways I feel it is a sort of detox. Getting negatives out and so it is kind of ok but when it grabs you whilst you are trying to focus on teaching, or on the train in public and you cannot be seen to react it is a challenge. It will sort itself as soon as I work out why it has surfaced. Just have to have the time to address it. I'm looking forward to a day off on Saturday.
Ok time to begin my teaching day.

Love and Hugs to all
Tanya


Gosh what a day!!!!!! Classes have been ok and time has flown but I was on the bus and the person next to me wanted to take up the whole seat so I was perched on the outside edge of the chair. Not a big deal really. When she went to get off the bus it got worse. I noticed her getting ready to get off so I was preparing to stand so she could get past me. As I stood she shoved me from behind with her elbow in my back and sent me flying across the bus aisle. No 'excuse me please or so sorry' in any language.
I was so upset I very loudly told her to at least excuse herself first. Yes I was speaking her language and she understood and so did all the rest of the people on the bus.

I know as a so called 'rich foreigner' I am not so welcome by the less wealthy people in this country. I also know I am not so welcome on the buses because why am I taking up a seat on the bus? when I could go by taxi. Having said that I am always polite and I stand when I am able. I give my seat to older people and those less able even when my head is screaming and I can hardly stand myself. This basic courtesy is not often returned and many times I have wished I had a huge visual defect so people could see I am not well.Oh and I pay my fare just the same as others as well.
It is hard to be 'just' a foreigner with 'just' a headache.

Go to go. Another class is set to begin.

Love and Hugs to all.

Tanya

Days 11 and 12

What happened to Saturday?

I woke late because I was so tired and rushed off to class. I left the house at 11am and came back home at 9.45pm. I taught only 5 hours. The rest was travelling or meetings. So tired.
I did drink more water and had a cup of coffee. Food was some fruit about 3pm and then some salad veges at nearly 10pm after getting home.
After thinking about it all long and hard and doing a lot of mental gymnastics to try and work out how I can stretch my money (mostly unsuccessfully) I have decided to take time off teaching at least one of my jobs starting 24th. I also cut the hours back in the next two weeks. I cannot sustain the pace I have been running at and still heal effectively. I can then rest a little more or at least have some time at home for me. I need it. I miss my little room.

So today is day 12 and it is just before 8am and I am on my way to teach again. Class from 9.30 to 11 and then 11.30 to 1.30 and then home. I will try and find something to eat in my short break and I will make sure I drink enough water. Stupid really but all the pennies are needed right now.
Very tired though. I'm doing more now when not eating than when I was following a more regular diet. Doesn't seem to make sense. I guess the balance was taken away in one area and it has set the whole lot off centre. Got to settle it.
Ok nearly time to get off the train. Will post this when I get home and have internet.

Love and Hugs to all
Tanya

Day 10

This pic kind of describes it all. It is common here for pedestrian crossings to end in a garden or to have an obstacle one the other side.
I woke feeling very sore. Too much in each day. I hope it is just post exercise soreness that will go away.

Ok so maybe I am not getting enough food. I am no longer hungry and I am trying very hard to get over that lovely feeling of wanting to vomit all the time. I have tried the ginger and it doesnt work right now and so I guess it will be just time. I will try to eat a bit more today. Last night before I crashed into bed I ate steamed veges with lemon juice and some fruit so I did ear a lot more than usual.

Today has just begun but it is set to be busy again with Thai class at 8am til 10 and then teaching at 1.30 til 3 and then again from 7 til 9. He might cancel as he has been doing that a lot of late but he may not. I wont know until much later which way it will go. The weekend is also full on with appointments and classes and then back to the week on Monday. Wednesday will be my next day with a kind of break. I am giving up one job in about 2 weeks so I will have more time for me. I think I am going to need it although I will miss the money.

Ok off to start the day. I have a coffee here and so will go and sit and watch the day for a few minutes before I press my clothes to go out the door.

Love and Hugs to all
Tanya

Day 9

Days have been flying past so fast with long days and rushing between places. So fast.
Its ok in some ways because it means maybe I will be more well faster or at least know sooner. Too tired some days to do more than fall into bed.
Teaching is so much fun and my students are so so lovely. I had forgotten how great a corporate class can be and how rewarding. Sooo glad to be doing it as it helps me to manage a lot better than if I was sitting at home in pain. It gets me up and moving and out of the house.

Food.....a little salad at lunch and 30 grams of sultanas as well as lots of water, mushroom water and a cup of coffee. Herbs and some B vitamins because my mouth had cracked. I just cant face food right now as the nausea is always there and not fun.

My body hurts a lot less and yesterday I must have had a detox because I smelt like plastic and chemicals. It was awful but has passed today. Guess something has gone now.

One more hour and I can go home. This is one of the last classes with this little girl. I do enjoy teaching her but she doesnt want to learn because she wants to play so it is a challenge.

Ok better go.

Love and Hugs to all
Tanya

Day 8

Just a little still life pic that we used in an art class for a drawing exercise. All the fruits are real and here they are very delicious. Which is great because it is mainly what I have been living on of late. Veges are harder to prepare or to buy when I am out so fruit is great.

I am home now from Thai class. What a challenge that was. I am kind of fluent in my speech but today was hammered by my Thai teacher about my pronunciation. And I also learnt some words I have been hearing for such a long time and now know what they mean. What a shock it all is but it is also a great start as I will be able to relate to my Thai students just that much better. I can understand the reluctance to talk in class now when you are told " you're wrong" but no positive feedback is given. We will overcome this in my space as well as theirs.

And so confidence will be built and hopefully spread through all the areas of life. Mine too.

It was hard to get out of bed today as I have been working so much and travelling so much in between and it takes its toll when you have very little food on board and very little energy. I did get to class almost on time and it was ok. I will have to leave a little earlier on Friday so I am not late again.

Food......Mushroom water, herbs and a pineapple today so far. I will drink some more water as I go because I know I am not drinking enough and that is needed to remove the toxins. Hopefully I will have time to make veges before I head off to work but have to prepare a little for class.
We made a text book but today I want to use some phonics and a song as well as some fun listening and speaking exercises so need to get the handouts ready that I will include in the book next time.

Extra exercise these days is mainly walking up and down stairs that I would have taken an escalator for. I also walk a little further than the bus stop as well and there are times that this is really really hard but it has to be done. I dont have much time for other stuff as teaching takes time (I travel about the same number of hours as actual teaching which is kind of stupid) and I am now working on a couple of other projects that will hopefully pay off soon. Too much for right now but have to begin or else it wont fly.

Pain levels are still high. The head still randomly smashes me to the floor and whilst the back, shoulders and neck hurt less I am not sure why. I am having more problems with numbness and would like that to go away so I am able to be more comfortable. Oh well. Got to keep trying.

Ok off to prep documents.

Will see if I can fit in more later.

Love and Hugs to all
Tanya

Day 7,later

I seem to be a day late now in posting but I am writing it all in the day for which the time fits.
Here is Day 7 (I know on day 8 but it is valid) and I will make day 8 soon.

Ok so I started this earlier and now am waiting for my first class of the day to begin. Is this a good time to tackle that elephant? Before a fun time getting people to gain some confidence to talk in a language they have been told they suck at? I am going to try.
Last night after I finally made it up the stairs I got undressed to take a shower. As part of all this rearranging and changing and addressing myself I have had to be as honest at possible with me. At times times this is hard as everyone knows, because some of these things have been around for a very very long time.
So I had stripped off and happened to take a few minutes to look at me in the mirror. Yes this is not such an attractive sight and is something I usually avoid and so it was confronting for that reason alone. The elephant showed up then.
I have many scars from so many surgeries and the latest ones were done last year in Germany when I had the Lumbo-Peritoneal shunt and valve put in place. I was looking at where the valve is sited because it has been kind of sore and itchy of late. I have a large bulge above the scar. It was not there a few days ago.
What is it? Now this is a good question because unless I go to the hospital and have x-rays etc I cannot say. It does hurt and it is not comfortable to move.

I can hear you. "Tanya, go to the Drs". I have no money and no insurance and so this is not an option. The elephant will remain in the room.

Ok it has been addressed and I am now mid-class and having a good time (not so sure about my lovely students. They remind me of scared rabbits).

Will hopefully post more later.
Love and Hugs to all
Tanya

Day 7

There is an elephant in the room. It showed up last night. At this point I am not able to talk about it as it will crush me. I am off to teach very soon and so this is a quick note.
The elephant goes with me.I hope that it stays quiet and behaves today.
Herbs,a quick coffee and mushrooms are to go.
I dont think I can face food but have some sultanas in my bag for the day.Not much but enough. Some sachets of Chinese Herbal tea as well to keep the fluids up.It is colder today so less water out I think.
Time to shower.
Love and Hugs to all
Tanya

Day 6

The train in Nong Khai. Well afterall it is a journey.

I hurt less in my body. I can move more freely and this has made such a huge difference to my overall well being and feeling. My head still hurts at the same level and it comes in waves even more than before. I am hoping it will begin to settle soon.
I woke early. My work schedule has just become a kind of nightmare but I signed up for it so I am not complaining. Just trying to juggle minutes to make sure I am not late anywhere. Right now I am early to my 10am class so have a few minutes to tap this out and upload it later. Class finishes at 11.40 and then I am off to Thong Lor for the next one between 12.30 and 2pm.I guess I will get there early ands that is ok be cause today I have a new business class at 3pm and need to be on time to find the room etc. Then home I hope and a rest before tackling home stuff and mails etc. I need to get a new internet Sim so I can do this all online and remote.

Food today: water 1 glass so far, 1 cup of black coffee,herbs and half a small pineapple. Food is not high on the agenda these days because the nausea is bad and so I tend not to want to eat even if I am hungry. Last night I had salad as well as some steamed veges. The chilli and garlic I had was hot hot hot,LOL but it was good. The peppercorns were great as they have helped stop the spasms in my belly and the runs have stopped as well. A good thing.

I have put some electrolytes on the menu as well. Fluid replacement. It is so hot and I sweat a lot (this is a really good sign because toxins come out that way as well) and so to keep the balance I felt it was wise to add the electrolytes. Part of the reason for choosing pineapples to eat as well is for the potassium. I have had an odd squeezing feeling just under my breast bone when ever I walk fast,up the stairs or sometimes even when I get up too fast. It takes my breath away and takes me minutes to get my head feeling ok. Dizzy comes with it too so I am guessing it is a circulation thing. Dont need to pass out lol.

Ok time to go. I have rambled enough for now. Just a load of musings.

Love and Hugs to all.
Tanya

Day 5

It's Sunday and not a day of rest.I am up and about and checked mails and then I will shower and dress and off to class about 10am.By the time I get home at 3pm (yes it is only a 2 hours class) I will be tired.I know this already.
Coffee in already and will attempt some herbs and mushies today.I have a bad headache but my body pain overall is less.Its a good thing.Got to be grateful for the small parts so that the big bits mean something too.

The pic I have here is from soooooo long ago.When I was full of life and newness in the world.A lot has happened since then and I really would love to have all that energy and strength back.Youth is so wasted on the young.My thought for today has to be "Life is too short to carry crap". And so I am offloading a lot that I have clasped so very tightly to myself.

Ok off to find those lovely mushrooms and herbs and out.

Will post more later

Love and hugs to all
Tanya

Day 4

Today started late and I was rushed from the beginning.A crap timetable that lead to me being late home,hence the late post.
Food today was a small pineapple,a couple of rose apples, which are kind of like Nashi pears but not really, and a guava.
Not enough water really and I felt it and I left off the mushrooms today because they made my tummy really runny for a couple of days.Will start them again tomorrow.
No herbs for the same reason and no time for yoga as I slept instead.They say sleep is a great healer.

No pic today as I havent the energy to find one.

And it is day 4 so its only 38 more to go.My biggest fear is that I will do all this and then my head will kill me anyway.Kind of SUCKS.

Off to bed now.I am too tired to think and I am back in class at 11.30 in the morning (yes on a Sunday) and it takes me 90 minutes to get there for a 2 hour class and then 90 minutes back again.Kind of stupid really for me but right now I am collecting pennies.

This has to be rock bottom and the only way to go is up from here.At least that is my prayer.

Love and Hugs to all
Tanya

Day 3

We started with a huge storm that began at 2am.I was woken by the sound of the rain on the tin roofs next door and to my tummy. What fun. I had spent part of the evening yesterday running back and to to the bathroom so I guess the wake up was not unexpected. Another three trips to the smallest room in the house before I was able to settle again without the feeling of "OMG" pain in the belly.

I think it was detox and the diet change as well as the herbs and mushrooms all at once. Day 2 of any new program is always the worst.

I got up at 6am.

Why?

Well I wanted to see if I could for a start as I will need to next week when I start Thai lessons. They begin at 8am on Wednesday and Friday so I will have to be out of the house at 7 to get there on time. I did that booking deliberately so I would get up and use my day. I have spent too much time in bed in the last year.

I sat checked emails while I woke up properly and then washed the dishes I didnt do yesterday,swept the floor and finally got out the iron and pressed the clothes that had been waiting for weeks. I havent ironed anything for a very very long time but it is like riding a bicycle. You dont forget how. LOL

Ok so time still left in my morning before I go to class. Yoga mat out and a little yoga done. A short rest with meditation and then shower, dress and out the door. Class began at 10am.

Class was lovely with a young Japanese man who wanted to learn conversation. 2 hours flew by and now I am waiting to start my next class and then home for a few hours before an 8pm class. Today's schedule is crappy.

How do I feel? Tired and sore but not so sore as other mornings. Did getting out of bed early mean my body is going to be less sore? I will have to test this as well. Will keep it in mind as I document this all.

Yesterday nausea was very bad so I only ate a few pieces of mango, a very small portion of steamed veges (left overs from the day before) and I had 3 purple dragon fruit. Lots of water, 1 litre mushrooms, herbs twice because the belly was not happy and that is about it. I wasnt hungry because I felt so sick. I didnt even have a coffee. Wow at that one because I have been kind of living on it to reduce pain.

Todays food so far has been a small pineapple, a cup of coffee, two glasses mushrooms, herbs and water. I am having a guava for lunch. They are filling and fibre and taste ok.

My head still hurts and now I am also stressed about work and my visa and what next there. Children...... Now that is another issue that has invaded my head and then there is lack of money as well. Just the usual daily stuff.

Am I happy?

I can say in many ways I am. Now that my body is no longer literally "full of shit" maybe I can have the same effect in other areas of my life as well. I am working on it stepwise. Looking at all angles to make sure they all function together and improve as I get better. That is the goal right now.

Oh and a quick aside. The Artfire store on my page here belongs to my friend. It was a small thing I could do to help out. Please contact him if you need anything special.

Ok class soon. Hope you enjoyed the rain in my pic as much as I enjoyed hearing it.

Love and Hugs to all

Tanya

Day 2

Purple inspiration for the day.

I had a hard time getting up today.It was 9.30 before I crawled out of bed and put on my mushrooms for today and made coffee.I have been sitting trying to get my eyes to focus properly while I try and read emails.Fortunately these days there are not so many to check.

Head aches,body hurts.All the extra little bits I did yesterday have taken their toll. Oh well need to just do it again.

So today I am going to do the washing and then I will try and tackle sorting my photos and getting my book completed for the classes I am beginning next week.It has to go to the printer to be copied yet and that will take two days so I am kind of rushed.Doesnt help that I had to learn all the software usage as well.

Today I have had my herbs for the first dose,some water and some mushroom water from yesterday that was left over and a cup of black coffee.That magic brew has made it bearable to move.

Oh and I really want to get out my yoga mat.I can see me not being able to do much tomorrow if I do but I have appointments and that will make it so I have to get up.

I signed up for Thai classes starting next week as well.I have 30 hours up my sleeve and have text material I bought about a year ago so will use them both and get something for my money.

That will get me out of bed as well.Its a good thing really.

Ok I am off now.

Love and hugs to all

Tanya

End Day 1

Tiger eye with Blue, Red and Gold.My inspiration stone for the day.Grounding and yet the mixed colours added a extra sunrise to my day. They really are pretty and feel so lovely.

Ok so today went.... well.I feel ok.I am still sore but have a clearer mind and can think a little more.Not so tired.

What did I have to eat today?

Mushroom water: 1 litre

1 large guava

1/3 small pineapple

about 2 litres of water

Steamed veges which included garlic,chilli,carrot,leek, wong buck (Chinese Cabbage),black peppercorns and Kale dressed with a little lemon juice and water.No salt, no oil.

Thai herbs x 3 doses.

Oh and I had a cup of black coffee as well.

I moved a little more as well.I went to lunch with friends and so walked up a few more stairs than usual and down a few more stairs than usual and then came home and rested a while.No class today as they cancelled.All good.

What made the difference? I think the Ling Xhi mushrooms.We will see. I am going to keep up with them as I really dont need to fall back down again.I like the clearer head even though I still hurt at the same level.On a pain scale of 1-10 today was a 9 1/2 day.They havent been much worse than now.

I have been doing so much thinking about all this and so it is nice to have it started.I am also planning on having a PET scan ASAP to see if there is something we can see.Either just in the head or elsewhere as well.I'll let you know.Funding may happen.......

Will go to bed soon (it is now 8.50pm and I feel weary) and rest and try to get up early so I can do some work on the computer before I go out.Oh actually I dont have to go out tomorrow.No class again.

So for now good night.

Love and Hugs

Tanya