Saturday, August 27, 2011

Day 87

Another week has screamed past and I am so far behind.
The pic is of the local statue in Rayong that is meant to keep the sea friendly.It is there to protect.I wonder where I can find one for my front door to keep out all the nastys.

So pain has not been fun and I have been wondering what to do. I have resisted for ages to put on a patch because I dont want an addiction to pain meds but on Thursday afternoon it all got too much and I finally put one on.
I slept a little and then when I woke I felt about a million percent better. The pain is still there but the really hard edges were gone. I have had an awesome last couple of days with loads of laughs and fun in the day as well as managing to get something done without it being a struggle. I think the next patch wont be so far away next time. I like having a sense of freedom and even if the pain is not gone completely it is now back in manageable mode.
I am taking my Thai herbs again as I know they dont do much in the jar. I feel better for that too.I am less tired which helps a lot and I am sleeping better. Oh and I bought a new pillow last week as well.Its a latex rubber one that remembers its form and it has made my head hurt less in the mornings. Better support helps a lot there as well.
So over all the week has been positive.
On that note I also allowed myself to get angry. For the first time in such a long time. Instead of swallowing it and getting on with it all I actually allowed myself to blow up and feel the feeling. Wow how liberating was that. I know now that I am ok even if I am angry about something and the outcome of anger doesnt have to be destructive to a relationship or to me.Part of the end result of that is that I have decided now to stop "not doing" for me. Its not a good thing to deny myself basics like new shoes and clothes while I give all to someone else. So I am going to see the Dr and get tests done. I have a day off on Friday and have made an appointment. Time to see what is happening in the belly.
The belly is as uncomfortable and painful as the head these days. Too much pressure and a huge lump that is hard.I need to work out what that is so I can focus on making it go away.We will see what gives at the end of the week.
So all in all a very very big week and I learnt a lot. I hope my little words give an insight but it was very very big.
Will be back again soon. Not so long between posts.
Love and Hugs

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Thank you for your comments. I really appreciate them.Love and hugs to all. Tanya