Yesterday I ended with things left up in the air.
I know that was not nice but I was so tired and had to sleep.
So we start at that point again.

After the family conference it was decided I was not going to begin chemo. I have no money, no job and my partner has not got the resources to fund such an expensive treatment plan. I cannot commit to that when I have no idea if I can honour it.

I spent a couple more days in hospital and my fever settled so they made plans for me to leave. Then my period started. Flooding..... hormones to stop that all and a bag of packed cells later I am stable enough to go home. The first time in my life I have been given the gift of blood and wow what a lovely gift it is. Thank you to all the donors out there.
So on Saturday 10th I went home and have been here since.

We went on Sunday to the Thai herbalist to get some herbs to support my body. I am also vegetarian for the next weeks as the animal proteins feed the cancer apparently. Yes there are twigs, leaves, rocks (red and bright yellow as you can see in the pic) a termites nest slice, dirt and all sorts of stuff in there. I have been cooking this continuously since Sunday night and adding water as we go and drinking half a glass three times a day and taking some little black pills that are herbal as well.
Are they working ? I cant say for sure except to say my gut has never been so clean as what ever is in there has made my belly work more efficiently than in years and I do have a little more energy. I am back to a fever of 37.5 C (100F) but dont feel sick to go with it, just hot. I am sleeping a lot which is a restful sleep and now when I wake I have some energy to do a little which I didnt have before. Early days yet. I have a follow up appointment on Monday to have bloods done again to see if the transfusion cells are still active. We will decide what comes next as results come in.

I am still awaiting the chromosome studies as well. These are important because they will dictate success rates of an chemo therapy if we choose to do this. Depending upon how the DNA stacks up will depend up on the success. Already there is a big "if" because in the pathology from the bone marrow aspirate and biopsy there has been found a "plasma protein membrane metabolic defect that is as yet UNCLASSIFIED". Basically this means that there is something wrong with my  blood cell membranes that hasnt been seen before. Makes me wonder ????

So today I set myself a goal of what to do. Yesterday I did as well and I managed to complete it all (I wanted to write my blog, change the sheets on the bed, take my herbs etc as I needed to and to eat proper meals as well, yesterday I completed it) and so today I thought I would set my sights on a little bit as well. My goals today were to do most of what I did yesterday with regards looking after myself (yes I have eaten and I slept and I have written my blog LOL ) and I also want to shower and wash my hair. Instead I did a load of washing. It knocked me sideways. I slept most of the afternoon. I am still hoping to get up soon and at least shower because I need one LOL.

It is now almost 6.30pm and I am tired again. Shower will come later I think.
Thank you for reading. I will be back later or tomorrow.
Love and hugs
Tanya xxxxx